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Today I'm Getting Out of Trouble May. 21st, 2017 @ 04:16 pm
Today I’m getting out of trouble.
I’m sorry for bleeding for you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
Please be on the way, please do not hesitate to us, please do not be afraid of anything, please do not hesitate to call us for anything we have done.
Please do not bleed it please it will get out of my mind.
Please do not be afraid. Please do not be afraid of me.
I’m sorry I got out
I’ve gotten out
For now I’m getting out of trouble.
Please do not hesitate to ask me, please do not hesitate let me know I’m sorry for anything
I’m sorry for bleeding out.
Please do it. It will get out of hand and it will be awaited in a moment and it will be awaited in dreams.
It’s been awaited for a long and wonderful tide.
I am ashamed.

To learn more about iterative recursive poetry, click here.
Current Location: Hawaii
Current Music: The Black Heart Procession -- Tropics of Love

A Friend In Need... Mar. 15th, 2017 @ 11:33 pm
I am not upset, but I'm asked all the same
and in doing so I become what it was I was not.
I feel the frustration build and bubble under
my insecurities and dashed hopes of dreams,
I see all of my worries and fears coalesce
into the amalgamated horror of everything
I wished would just leave me be, that it would
let me, just for once, be, quite simply, 'me'.

You don't inquire out of spite, or to incite
the unbridled emotion I carry within me, no,
you just wanted to understand what it was
that made me act the way that I acted.
You want to have a semblance of understanding
for why I get like I do, why I seem so tense;
you just want to be the helping hand in the dark.

I don't want the helping hand.
I don't want to need help.
What I want is to be 'normal',
is to be able to get through the day
without setting off alarm bells,
without stirring the hornet nest
of worry and concern that you
hold within, surrounded by all the
good intentions and positive thoughts
that any one person could muster.

I appreciate the sentiment.
I hate the end result.

If there's one thing I have learned,
in my admittedly short stint of breathing air,
it's that there is no black and white, only grey.
That grey seems to be hounding me,
reminding me that it's not as simple,
not as straightforward, as they say it is.

So this is one thing I want to be simple,
one thing that I want to be straightforward.

Please, just understand,
I don't understand.
I don't see that I'm rude,
that I'm coming across as angry.
I don't sense the tone of voice,
I can't hear it back until it's too late,
the words are already out there
and you've decided what it was I meant,
even if I simply did not mean that.

To be plain, I don't think that I think like you,
and I don't think it's something I can learn to do.

afterdark Nov. 20th, 2016 @ 02:11 pm
and days too
I sit up thinking of the stars inside you
of all your molecules
swimming darkly
through those collared plains and rainy nights awake
your cold and careful heart pressing PLAY
places I would pay too much
to even get another glimpse of--

my God
you deigned to speak my name
as if you knew no other words to say

and if I thought that you could hear me
I would beg you one last time
to stay.
Current Music: Yuna - "Lullabies"

Let's play a game Oct. 23rd, 2016 @ 02:00 pm
Let’s play a game,”
Death whispers in your ears.
roulette wheel,
going around and around,
spinning before the decision ends.

Read more...Collapse )
Current Mood: exhaustedexhausted

Likeness Oct. 17th, 2016 @ 11:00 am
You are breath,
bone and blinking
eyes wide, tears and sighs,
blood and skin and teeth
wrapped about
some incandescent dreams.

Just like me.
Current Music: Purity Ring - "Lofticries"

gray Oct. 16th, 2016 @ 10:09 pm
we used to talk every night about everything;
but lately you've started pulling away.

please don't rip us apart, that's the very thing
that will completely crush me at the end of the day.

i would have given you everything, anything,
but that wasn't enough because you left anyway.

you know, i used to imagine us, together, burying
all our demons, but now i'm alone in this cafe,

writing about someone who's made my life a dark shade of gray.
Current Mood: crappycrappy

I can be quiet Oct. 16th, 2016 @ 11:41 am
I can keep a secret, sweet
inside my lungs.
Well-hidden from the slings and arrows of
this new space that I inhabit,
this space wherein you do not visit--

as you are these days
to my call.
Current Music: Radiohead - "Climbing Up The Walls (Zero 7 Remix)"

Hot Summer Morn Oct. 13th, 2016 @ 01:35 pm
My neck was an axel
As I twisted my shirt
To face in the right direction

My neck gave a crack
As I twisted my head
To relieve the tight tension

My neck was a swivel
As I looked around
To find slippers for my feet

My neck had a kink
As I’d slept on it wrong
My mind swimming from the heat

Cycles Oct. 10th, 2016 @ 09:34 pm
Fear is the first thing I notice.
A fear of something unknown,
of an invisible threat
I cannot quite understand.

Then I feel anxiety,
unbearable and constant,
amplifying the terror
and crushing my heart and lungs.

Paranoia seeps in somehow,
finding out my darkest dreams
and showing me how I am
undeserving of the life I lead.

Then I cease the resistance,
allow resignation to flow through
and accept the way of things,
letting reasons for why stay unknown.
Current Location: home

Oct. 4th, 2016 @ 04:08 am
Sometimes, when you're walking around looking for coconut milk, you start thinking up things that rhyme:

The tapping of the beggars' cups
the shout of hawkers vying
chickens, gooses, ducks hung up
the smell of fishes drying
that, that's Hong Kong

rivers of people streaming
weaving in and out of cars
bowls of noodles and dumplings steaming
neon twinkling like the stars
that, that's Hong Kong

where the food is unprotected
don't walk signs never respected
tea is just something expected
that, that's Hong Kong

socks and sausages and pets
turtles squiggling inside nets
fabric one street, phones the next
that, that's Hong Kong

where taxis lean hard on the horn
where advertisements straddle porn
where cigarettes are quite the norm
that, that's Hong Kong

where 65's considered "winter"
and every day is an adventure
where only the curious dare enter
that, that's Hong Kong
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